Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Homecoming, part 4 of 8, "He is You"


The usual Tuesday team meeting was a bit low energy this morning. The young man was enthusiastic about an idea to restore an old warehouse on the east side into a safe place for the growing number of homeless. The torrent of families, ranging from young couples with a couple children, even babies, to older couples, was mostly due to the recent landslide of foreclosures that forced hundreds of families onto the streets of the northeastern city.

Many of them were even people from apartments out of which they had been forced out due to foreclosures. Eric saw a way to help the now hundreds of families. Many of the politicians and others on the community steering committee, organized to seek viable solutions to the problem had been mired down around insurance and liability issues. Eric saw a solution and wanted to move on it. Rain and snow was forecast for the weekend and he wanted to at the very least provide a temporary place for the people, whom he would also solicit to help rebuild and restore the warehouse. In a sense, the people could help provide the manpower to do the construction work.

The team seemed unmoved by his idea.

After the meeting, he walked outside, into the bright late morning sun, to burn off a bit of the frustration he felt. His absence wouldn't be noticed. He had a little bit of time to regroup and gather himself.

He stepped outside, onto the busy Main Street, glanced up to the sky, and noticed a large crow on the light post. It cawed at him, he smiled at it. He slowly began to walk down the street, toward the sun. As he walked, he noticed the bird seemed to be following him, occasionally swooping past, up into a tree branch, and then expressing his pleasure with another caw. The old gothic church across the street seemed to be a perfect setting for the bird and a man, troubled by the resistance he felt to a much needed project. He needed guidance, a new plan, a way to resolve this escalating problem.

Up ahead, a small city park stretched down the long boulevard where once a city transit had run. Trees, a running path, and a few park benches, even picnic tables, provided an outside home for the homeless later at night. They were usually gone before people began coming to work. He walked a good distance down the running path, then sat down at one of the benches, put his elbows on the table, head in his hands, and just felt the sunshine on the back of his bent neck.

He began his inner "alleluia," setting his will and intent to enter into the essence of his beloved inner world. He sang it internally, waited, but didn't feel anything. The old frustration was still there. He tried again and again. Still nothing. Then, he decided he would back it all up a bit, and state to himself and the Great Presence whose presence he sought, that it was wholly his intention to connect, to offer praise to He who is All.

Then, again, he chanted "alleluia" internally. He slowly began to enter into the feeling of the sun on his neck. The warmth grew, encompassing him, embracing him. It was happening. He found himself chanting repeatedly, rhythmically "alleluia" inside himself, and each time he sent it out, like a drum beat, it rocked further and further out into the wide expanse of the universe. He felt that it was being amplified somehow. Soon, he felt it was reverberating around the exterior "walls" of the universe. It was spreading, growing, expanding everywhere. He imagined it was entering every single quanta of light in the universe.

He felt he was joining the Great I am Presence as his intention to love and praise was received with each surge of his chant. He felt he was both offering and receiving, as it was being received, the great Love of the Great Source of All. He was connecting. There was no other thought in his mind at this moment. He was merging with All and It seemed It was consciously aware of his intentional praise offering. His gift and question were both being received. He wondered fleetingly, without interrupting the flow of the energy, what this all meant. He couldn't explore that now. He just remained immersed in the moment of union he sought and felt.

He couldn't hold the connection for very long. He would try again later that evening when he got home. He loved to go out on his back porch that wrapped around to the front of the old 19th Century colonial, he and his wife had purchased for a song about 12 years ago. There's a quiet cove on the porch that was shaded by the big Oak tree that provided equal protection over a part of the creek that ran nearby. He looked forward to a few minutes there in the evening, sometimes alone, or sometimes with Cheryl, his wife. Many evenings, she'd leave him alone for a few minutes, then come out with a lit candle and a couple glasses of wine. He treasured those moments together. He made a mental note to pick up a nice bottle of wine on the way home that night for them, later.

Abruptly, almost rudely, that crow cawed at him again. He looked up. Standing in front of him was an old man, missing one front tooth, unshaven, who was smiling at him. Erik reached for his pants pocket to pull out a couple dollars to give the old man.

"No need for that," the old man said to him, smiling with a clarity in his eyes that touched Eric's heart.

"Just wanted to say thank you," he continued, reaching for Eric's hand which was clutching a coin in his pocket.

"Oh?" Eric said, inquisitively, noticing the old man's glistening crystal blue eyes.

"You might not remember me," the man continued. "About two years ago, my wife and I were walking out here. It was one of the most beautiful mornings of the entire year - not a cloud in the sky. My wife, she hadn't been feeling well, and we thought a little fresh air might help. She'd been cooped up in the apartment for months.

"I helped her down the stairs from our apartment so we could take a little walk. We walked about four blocks when she started to get pretty winded. All of a sudden, she just bent over and fell to the ground. She wasn't breathing, and I think her heart might have stopped. I looked around to see if anyone was there to call for help, and just then, you were running by."

"I think I remember this," Eric said.

"You stopped, pulled out your cell, instantly called 911, and began giving her mouth to mouth," he continued, "all within 20 seconds!"

"Oh, I remember now," Eric said, remembering that on that particular morning, he'd had a significant project to finish at work and he was working out some of the details as he ran in the park.

"Within a second, she gasped and started breathing again. She was blue, mister!" the man said, emotionally.

"I know you saved her life and then the ambulance came. They helped her into the ambulance and when I turned around to thank you, just before getting in it myself, you were gone. I always wanted to thank you," he said.

"My wife died a year ago, but that last year of our lives was the best. We always knew we were on borrowed time and because of you, we had that whole wonderful last happy year. Now, well, I'm on the street with all the other folks. But, I'm happy. My heart is so full because of the love and happiness me and my wife had together."

"I don't know what to say," Eric said, eyes filling with tears. He recalled that he had been running late and had to hustle back to the office so he couldn't stick around to talk with the old man. As soon as he saw the woman was in the ambulance, he left.

"I'm speechless. Thank you for touching me with this story this morning. I had forgotten and I guess I needed to remember that we all do what we can, where we are, when it's necessary," he said.

"I know I'm not in charge of things. There's a power far greater than me or you or any of us, that is like a great orchestra conductor, bringing us into each other's lives, planting us or guiding us on our individual journeys so we would meet and greet and love each other. Sir, you have taught me something so precious this morning. I owe you a big thank you," Eric added.

The old man smiled at him again, reached out to shake his hand. Eric reached out and hugged the old man.

"Well, I won't keep you. I see you're taking a little break from your work. I hope things are goin' good for you in there today," he said. "Thanks ....."

The old man walked away. Eric stood there watching the slow gait of the elderly man, wondering for a moment who he was, who he had been. There was something oddly familiar about him. He couldn't help noticing that his eyes were the same shade of blue as his own, a gift from his eastern European ancestry. "Crystal blue," his wife had told him once, as she held him lovingly on a picnic date they had in the park in the early days of their falling in love.

"Hmmm ...." Eric wondered aloud, as he headed back toward the office.

He looked up at the sun, now almost overhead, smiled, and whispered a thank you to the great Source of all, whose mysterious ways remain unknowable. He felt better, so much better. The encounter had cleared him of anything other than love. The gift of praise that he'd sent out to the universe, had been returned. He felt it and he was renewed by it.

"But, who was that man?" he wondered.

"He is you," he could swear he'd heard the crow say.

"He is you. He is you...."

Continued from:  Cosmic Love
Continues tomorrow with Mantra












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