Interlude

Western Nebraska, coming down out of Wyoming, has an austere rugged landlscape as it transitions from the dense high Rockies to the softer, flatter plains of the heartland. 


Life has always been a mystery, then and now. The only difference is now I know it. Then, I was less aware of the supreme magic and elegance in all the varying shades of reality I perceive now. 

Over the last few months, a deeper awakening, a renewed reverence for the mystical beauty of life has pierced the dark of a long spiritual night. It seems when the divine drives an awakening, everything lights up until you see things in a whole new perspective

Suddenly, it was unmistakable that I was being guided, first around a bend and down a path that felt dark and overgrown, and then out and up again now leading to a distant unknown, Now, I realize it was always a divinely ordained journey. Everyone's life is. Sometimes, during the hard times of the unseen parts of the experience, I felt as if I was in the fire pit of The Princess Bride. Too often I was shocked and taken off guard by flaring surges from the underground, mauled by deception, threatened by a feeling of insufficiency. I honestly didn't know if I would survive. It was a dark forest full of pitfalls and uncertainty. My books, prayer, and faith was all I had, in addition to two beautiful cats.

Suddenly, on New Years Eve my world plunged into something new, and equally uncertain. It seemed as if God opened the heavy door that kept me locked in a dark and lifeless place. A radiant light danced magically around the edges as the old door creaked open. It was time, I could finally leave Portland.

As swiftly as a bird, I fled. Not thinking, not resting, I just drove, hard and fast, into the sunset, late into the night, through the dark and treacherous Cascades. I watched the breathtaking sunrise over the Rockies, and then I switched down the passes into Wyoming. I wasn't sure if I was running from something or to something, but I drove swiftly and fearlessly until I found myself in the sweet vast fertile fields of Nebraska. Finally, I could breathe. I felt safe in the heartland of my country.

I slowed down to absorb the sweet Nebraska sunshine on the late winter, windy morning. Unexpectedly, I felt the presence of life all around me. Carried aloft over mountain ranges, as if on eagles wings, across bridges over rushing mountain rivers and through dark winding volcanic valleys now I could rest and catch my breath in the safety of the welcoming landscape.  

I wondered about all this, often reflecting on a deeper meaning and presence that undergird it all. I wondered what I was meant to do with it all. I longed to share the experience, talk it over with someone, but it seemed that wasn't meant to be either. So, I lived it, alone in my heart and mind, savoring it, adoring the One who allowed me to experience it.

Then, this morning in mid April, in the remote hills of the southern tier of New York state, I was awakened by the haunting coos of the morning doves. As they sang away the night, I found again that reverence in their song. I felt a new meaning to all of this as their cooing bounced off the small lake, trimmed with tall pines outside the rustic place where I live now. I knew a new chapter had begun.  

In the quiet of this morning, in this remote, fiercely natural place, a very real spiritual presence lingers within and all around me. Life itself can be heard here, and in her sweet voice my heart feels alive and welcomed home.