Ousting the wizard of rejection

What triggers you?  I mean, what in your life, really gets you upset, angry, frustrated, sad or even depressed?  If everything around us is a reflection of what is in us, it may be helpful for us to uncover that inner culprit behind the curtain of our lives, who is controlling us, pulling the strings that move us, making our decisions and leading us to exactly where we are, which may not be where we want to be. In fact, we may be unaware that we have given our power over to that inner wizard and have become its servant.

So, the first step in unmasking that inner wizard, is to look closely at what gets a reaction out of you.

Recently, I had an upsetting experience.  For some, it wouldn't have been a big deal, but for me it was.  I was literally thrown off course and had to do some serious reflection to figure out what it was all about, internally.  Like many of us, I realized I had a "rejection" button.  So, if I got a rejection letter from a job application, it would trigger that rejection button and then I was a mess. 

Fortunately, I was able to catch it right away and realize that's why it stung when I got that letter.  We all deal with rejection in life, all in varying degrees of intensity.  Some are so deeply in bed with rejection they can't take any kind of direction or just a simple complimentary helpful suggestion.  They react and dismiss so loudly that you wonder where they're coming from.  Sadly, for those folks, there's no help because while in denial, the inner wizard rules your mind and your life. 

When you can stop and ask yourself, why something bothered you so much, you are at least on the road to unmasking that inner wizard.  If he is the wizard of rejection - and there are all kinds of wizards -  he most likely came from an early childhood experience that became distorted over time and since he reigned unchecked throughout your life, he gained a lot of power over your life and established  whole scenarios of control.

Now, as you look over your worldly kingdom and see its barren plains, its fruitless trees, dark skies and vanishing species, you can see that YOU didn't cause this because you wouldn't have intentionally caused this.  So, who did?  You get the point. 

The inner rejection wizard did this. And, note this, he is malevolent.  Don't make any mistake about this; he is dark and he is mean and there is no denial about his presence.  Throughout history, all human cultures have recognized him and named him all kinds of different names. He does NOT love you.  He blindly led you to interpret rejection as something you needed and wanted and so you attracted more rejection into your life until your life was a ruin.

So, given that we are magnetic beings, we are attracting to ourselves more of what is already within us vibrating away.  That rejection wizard who is vibrating rejection within you, like a little laser calling more and more rejection into your life is  "in there."  If you can see that's what it is, and you can send it packing, you will be free of its magnetizing effects in your life. 

What if you kindly pulled open the curtain and saw that wizard as small and impotent as he really is, who gets his jollies by running (and ruining) your life? Could you dethrone him somehow? Could you take over control of your life, by realizing that all the rejection you experienced wasn't God's punishment or your duty or the necessary sacrifice you had to make as a parent or spouse, but it was something that you got in the habit of doing to appease that fake inner wizard? And, what if you kicked him out of your kingdom, and turned the reins over to the REAL king, the lover of your soul, your life force, who is no one OTHER than you in union with the giver of all life who moves within your own conscious awareness. That real king loves you and gives to you abundantly, lovingly, generously and wants you to take back your power.


Now, you can stop and ask yourself, "what would you like more of in your life?"  rather than rejection? What if you set up a good witch, an angel?  a loving, compassionate, generous good angel of light?  What would that angel magnetize to you? 

In a previous post I described that rejection wizard as a kind of inner sleeping dragon.  There are all kinds of names for it - like your "inner tyrannical dictator" and others.  But, suffice it to say, that this is an inner energy form that we project outwardly (albeit unconsciously) until we see it for what it is, which is old enabling behavior we learned as young children from alchoholic (or abusive) parents, who taught us to be their enablers, caretakers. Then, we spend our entire lives taking care of other people, adult children, teenage children, perfectly capable spouses, friends, whole congregations, etc. Many have even distorted the Christian scriptures to endorse their unhealthy caretaking/enabling behaviors.  They think God wants a sacrifice and they are more than willing and ready to sacrifice their lives. But the truth is, my friends, it isn't because you really think God wants this, it's because our parents taught us to do this and somewhere deep in our psyche, our parents were our gods.  We still fear them, only we don't know it.

God wants us to be free of any inner control from anyone, any institution, any heirarchy of power, and instead set the sweet angel of love at the center of your soul.  That angel does not enslave us, rather she sets us free to fly to what feels loving, creative, and life-giving, energizing.  Ask yourself the next time you are exhausted from doing too much work, why did you do that to yourself?  Who is your slave master?  And, then be prepared for the answer. 

* Vivien and Merlin by the nineteenth-century French artist Gustave Doré.