Push away the negativity to regain your power

 

These days it seems that it isn't only the stock market and real estate market that has taken a nosedive.  It seems people - here and everywhere - are feeling a heavy weight dragging them down, dampening, even diluting their power - their power to find joy in the simple things and their power to achieve necessary and urgent things.  


If there was one thing I would wish for us this new year, it is that we would all - every single one of the 6.8 billion of us - to find joy and tap into that beautiful divine power within us.  So, how do we do it?  Yes, invite God into our hearts and lives, but maybe we have to do some spiritual detoxing at the same time to open the channel.  We have to remove the blocks of negativity we've internalized so we can tap into His greatness intended and waiting for us.


Every negative, critical, judgmental thought or word  puts a hole in your power bucket, creating a leak in your personal power fuselage.  

While many of us as children endured the heavy criticism and even severe discipline of overbearing parents, teachers or pastors, we found later in life that their criticism was not helpful in our quest for personal success.  When we were kids, many of us grew up under the heavy hand of perfectionist, success-oriented adults.  Maybe some of us learned something useful from that treatment, but others of us, in fact many of us, found their criticism and judgment oppressive and unhelpful.  We buckled under the burden of the criticism, we floundered spiritually, many of us were squashed and carried heavy burdens of guilt, a domineering sense of obligation to do things that we might never have wanted to do in the first place, and an inner sense of self condemnation throughout our lives.  

The psycho language for this may be that we silenced our inner child, or imprisoned our true self, and assumed the masks "they" wanted us to wear. We conformed because we were conquered.  Now, we must reach for freedom, autonomy and personal power. 

Obviously that set the stage for a complete loss of personal power.  But have we lost the way back to who we were always meant to be?  

I think not.  I think we can find our way back, but we have to be vigilant over the self-talk we engage in, what we hear every day coming at us from the television, radio, and other media.  We have to listen to the conversations we find ourselves engaged in.  We have to be very intentional about what we think about, say and do.  If someone is gossiping about someone, we must simply stop them and step away.  We have to surround ourselves with an awareness of intentional positivity in everything we say, do and think.

As we begin to realize that we are incredibly powerful divine beings (having a human experience) and all that deeply buried criticism has built blocks to our power, we need to be intentional and responsible for the spiritual clean-up in order to return to our original selves.  If we want to access our inner God-given birthright, our divine power, we need to choose to be conscious of our thoughts and words.  We need to think before we speak and even think before we think. 

That original emotional/spiritual/psychological injury all that criticism has left us with is an inability to tap our own power.  Many of us were even taught that God would judge us, that God would condemn us, that we had to follow the rules or we would be punished by God.  Today, we know that's the dark side of control and manipulation and is anything but divinely sent.  

We may only know that intellectually and may not have learned it well enough to know that we should not judge ourselves or others. All of us struggle against an inner voice that nags us to conform, to fit in, to be more successful, to please the boss or the loudest voice in our lives. We ALL have that inner voice.  Only the angels and gurus don't. I wonder if we could cancel it and replace it with a gentle loving voice that encourages us, gives us the wit and the fire to face our fears and surmount any adversarial challenges. 

We all struggle with some sense of disempowerment.  But, I bet if we had access to all our own innate, God-given power, we would be able to move mountains, heal the sick, raise the dead, maybe even tap our own amazing genius to find a cure for AIDS or alternatives to fossil fuel energy or have the wonderful wisdom to arrange for an end to the war in Afghanistan.  

It is really endless what we could do if we had access to all our innate power.  Sometimes power is associated with manipulation and the wrong use of power, but real power is creative, ingenius, loving, healing and relational.  Real power is expansive, generous and reaches out.  Dark power contracts, is selfish and robs. Dark power - the power of principalities and egotistical tyrannical despots - is actually rooted in a very weak and insecure person.  The braggart has to brag to convince himself and others that he's great.  A truly great person doesn't have that need. He is secure and is centered on a deep sense of personal value and loveability. 

So, for most of the world - those who struggle just to make ends meet - we wonder, "how could our lives be different?"  We all seem to share this sense that "things" are getting worse, the economy is sucking us all down and we feel as if we're falling fitfully in midair without parachutes.  

I don't know how you are coping with things, but it seems that by focusing completely on God, depending completely on God, and intentionally choosing to stay away from anything negative - which obviously means no television, no gossip, no to those who whine and complain is the best way to begin to seal up our power leaks and to regain a sense of personal autonomy over our lives.  Regaining our personal power might just begin right there in that decision to do that.  And then, as we choose to steer away from power-draining negativity, we can equally choose to draw closer to what is lovely, good, encouraging, creative and beautiful. Exercising the choice itself is the beginning of empowerment.

I have learned to really hear that little voice that sneaks up on me from time to time to criticize or judge me, to drag me down.  I have taught myself to be very watchful for it and to steer my consciousness away from it.  I refocus my thoughts, reclaim my right as a child of God to center on and in God's great love. I choose to recall God's unconditional, all powerful, all creative, passionate love for me - and for YOU!!!  

In that moment of recollection, I choose heaven over whatever is tempting me to fall down into the pit of powerlessness.  It is a choice.  We are always making it, but the point here is to make it intentionally and consciously rather than default into powerlessness because we weren't paying attention.

If we can keep our minds focused on God's unconditional, always forgiving, always accepting love, and take a deep breath and draw into our minds and hearts that awareness and that love, we will begin to experience a change.  We will stand a little taller, we will be more intentional about what we say, do and think.  We will smile a lot more, take a little more time to love others, maybe even volunteer in the community in a way that taps (and supports and reinforces) your skills (and your self-esteem). 

I think what will happen, maybe slowly at first, is we will experience a gradual process of empowerment.  We will begin to seal up the leaks in our personal power fuselage. Since it is filled by God, as we invite God to fill us with His love and power, we will grow stronger, more powerful, more creative, more ingenius, more loving and more successful at reaching our goals.  Then, with a little bit more gas in our tanks, what we focus on will receive a stronger dose of our now heightened, more powerful conscious intent.  Then, we will see change, we will feel more alive and the successful accomplishment of our goals, hopes and dreams.

As New Year's draws closer, this is high on my list of new resolutions - to stay focused more intentionally on what I am thinking, saying and doing and to surrender more and more in all the big and little ways, my moments and my days to God's awesome power and love.   

Liberating your divine power

 

"Joy is God's calling card"

"In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle."

St. Therese of Lisieux (1873-1897) 
XVI letter to her sister Celine

In each of us there is a beautiful crystal center, radiant, glorious, powerful, creative, shimmering with the ineffable power and love of God.  You are more powerful than you can imagine and you are more loved and loveable than you have the courage to admit. 

But, why is it we don't know this and our lives are anything but powerful and radiant?  Even those who are serving and care giving are not living lives of joy. Sadly, their intention is masked.  They may sincerely mean to be selfless and giving, righteous, but that giving comes from a sense of duty, guilt, obligation, rather than joy. It's not always what it seems.  

One may seem good but may be full of self loathing and fear due to abuse and maltreatment earlier in life which taught him on a deep subliminal level that he isn't valued, isn't deserving of love, kindness, compassion, and rather has to earn love. He learned that love is conditional and therein is the seed for the evil ego.  

This dear child of God is anything but liberated. Rather he is enslaved to an interior tyrant who grew up within him, learning the lessons from the cruel treatment of an exploitive parent, teacher, spouse, employer - whomever.  In an effort to save his skin at an early age, he learned to submit to that tyrant. He learned he was not loved, nor loveable, not precious, not brilliant, not powerful, not glorious, not divine.  Now, he has to unlearn all that, and learn instead that he is loved and loveable, brilliant, powerful and part of God, in union with God.

It seems there is a sad enslaving phenomenon that happens to people who lived lives of abuse. The first most incidious part of it is they often live in denial, refusing to see who they have become.  The love they never had left a gaping hole in their being which was slowly filled by a dark presence, a dark tyrant which is referred to as  "the ego,"   the false self.  It takes control of the person's life - whipping and ordering the person to continue to work slavishly, whispering in his ear that he's not good enough, not attractive enough, not smart, not wealthy, not popular, not loveable enough.  

Through that condemnation and abuse, the now internalized tyrant - that ego - has taken over control and the person is now its slave.  This isn't obvious to the person.  He thinks it's his duty to serve, he thinks it's noble to serve.  He thinks his slavery and low self worth means he's humble and he even applauds himself for his humility when he is not really humble before God, rather he is a slave to the ego, the interior tyrant. 

A clue that the person is not really humble, not really free or filled with God's power and presence, is the absence of joy.  Joy is God's calling card. When a person is able to release himself from all the judgment and criticism of the ego, and accept that he is loved, truly and deeply loved and encouraged to walk in the knowledge of that love, a river of joy springs up within.

When God is head of the person's life, joy spills over into the person's life, into the streets, glowing from the rooftops. The person's innate creative power would return inspiring and motivating him. It would lift the dark heavy drapes of depression - caused by the oppression of judgment and condemnation - into freedom, love and joy until his laughter would ripple throughout the cosmos and he would succeed at anything he puts his mind to.  

Joy is really insupressable.  But, for a person ruled by this cruel ego, there is no joy - only duty and work and a very busy schedule. That person has replaced an earlier abuser with a presence of oppression.  This oppressive ego not only steals your time and energy, it has long lasting lingering effects on your productivity and flow of creativity, so vitally necessary for a real life.

I recently met a middle aged man from Egypt who had been exploited and betrayed by a wealthy American woman who he met there. She lured him away from his job, married him and brought him to the United States.  After a few months, she grew tired of him, and divorced him, leaving him without a job and penniless.  He was a man of dignity in Egypt but now without a job, with few marketable skills in this weak economy, he lives on the couch of a kind Christian who barely scrapes by himself.

This man has been offered several very low paying jobs, yet repeatedly he fails at each one.  Recently I met him working at a local restaurant where he was employed to clean up, a job he could barely handle. He never looked me in the eye, and held his head low, shoulders caved in, back bent.  He looked like someone beat him everyday, and yet no one is beating him.  Rather he is continuing to beat himself.  The saddest part of the story is this man is a very creative musician, who isn't doing anything with his gift.  He feels nothing but self loathing.  His inner Divine nature is completely blocked by an internalized abuser - the ego. 

The owner said to me, "I wish he would just wake up. He does really careless things.  It seems like he's not there. I want to see him succeed and get out of this mess he's in.  We're trying to give him an opportunity, but we can't keep him if he keeps doing some of the careless things he's doing. Even when we tell him how to do things, he's stubborn and refuses to listen.  He won't listen and learn."

I recognized that behavior - that defensive refusal to listen to learn - that proud insistence that his way was the right way, when it clearly wasn't.  It was false pride, the ugly evidence of the ego's rule.  When a person has no pride, when his sense of self worth and value has been pummeled out of him, the ego sneaks in and gives the person a false sense of pride, which shows up as defensive stubborn pride.  It is that one single quality of the ego that is the trademark of an abused person's ego possession.  It is also the one quality that will guarantee that the person will never rise up and out of his oppression.  

When that false pride is transformed - by God's love - the person can return to a sense of dignity and in that dignity be open and loving and accepting and non reactionary and then able to move with a rich radiant dignity that blooms and prospers as authentic humility.  If there's no fear to defend, then there is no need for reaction.  If the person doesn't feel threatened, he doesn't need to defend himself with his false pride.   

"So, how can I help him?"  the owner asked.  

I thought for awhile and then recalled one of the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux, the little flower.  I knew the man was a devout believer in God - not Christian - but a believer in God.  I thought if he could begin to do everything he had to do for God, the love of God would flower in him, and God's love would be the tonic for his oppressed soul.  I thought of St. Therese's wise teaching to do everything - every little thing - to the glory of God. 

"Tell him to do everything to the glory of God," I told the owner.  

"Tell him - teach him - even if he's cleaning a toilet, or washing the floor, or taking out the garbage to focus on every little detail and consciously do it to the glory of God."  

The owner was quiet for a moment.  We both also realized that all of us are oppressed by the ego on varying levels of intensity.  

Next week (January 2) is St. Therese of Lisieux's birthday and I think her teaching might be a beautiful light for all of us into the new year.  I hope her wisdom helps this sorely oppressed man find his way out of his tragic self imposed prison of shame.  He is a beautiful free soul, sadly enslaved by an interior master.  He can be free, but only God can free him.  I pray he finds this freedom soon. In the meantime, his life offers us all an important gift that invites us all to do everything - every little thing - to the glory of God.

Hopefully as we do this, we will unlock our interior power, our brilliant creative magnificence, and flare up our divine spark that would heal our bodies, our lives and our world.  Maybe, as we do this, we will recover our sense of being loved beyond our wildest imagination and in that realization, be set free from the prison of shame in which too many of us linger.   I pray, as we do this, we will STOP judging and criticizing ourselves and each other.  And, as we do this, I believe our joy level will rise and abound all over the place.  Truly, as we do this, we will wake up and be alive - maybe for the first time in our lives. 

Come, O Come, Emmanuel

Earlier this week, I posted an invitation to add your name to a letter the Interfaith Peace Network of Western New York is sending to President Obama calling for an end to the war in Afghanistan.  Included among the 574 who signed the petition (so far) were 432 parishioners from St. Joseph University Parish, Buffalo, NY. 

I truly admire the passion and commitment to Christ's invitation those precious people expressed. 

They, who were stirred to action by clergy who see the role of the church in carrying out Christ's invitation to peace, have demonstrated that rare and beautiful courage the world so dearly needs today.  Among those inspirational clergy is Ted Pijacki, deacon, who gave the following homily last Sunday.  

Ted is a man of many wise words, has written several books, taught on both the college and high school levels, has served the Diocese of Buffalo as director of formation for the diaconate and is passionate about peace.  His homilies so ardently shared at the parish have often inspired action on a number of important spiritual and political imperatives.  This is one I just had to share with you. I hope his eloquence will also inspire you to do as his parishioners have done and sign the peace petition (see Monday's blog).

My Sisters and Brothers in Christ,

Christmas is about having memories as well as creating memories. Today’s readings are about memories of Emmanuel - which translates as God with us. This name goes back 1000’s of years and is brought into our consciousness as an important focus for Christmas. 

As I think back to Christmas as a child and then later with our own children, I have a memory of gifts piled under the Christmas tree. There was a tremendous sense of mystery, wondering what was hidden under the mask of wrapping paper and bows.

What looks like chaos under the tree is actually very orderly as tags on each gift indicate who it is for and who it is from. And then the bows and wrapping paper fly off the presents and we have chaos again.

And everyday as I go to the mailbox I marvel at the fact that millions, if not billions, of greeting cards, catalogues and credit card bills, are chaotically dumped into the postal service stations and miraculously, one or two days later they travel across the city or nation and arrive in an orderly fashion at their proper destination.

Our readings today explore that tension between order and chaos. Most people like a life with some degree of order. We like to know where we are headed, what dates and times we have scheduled appointments to avoid conflict and chaos as much as possible.  

The simple gift that we give to you, of a parish calendar is a valuable tool to help bring order into our lives. But even with calendars and planning, the unexpected sometimes happens and chaos can take over. Look at poor St. Joseph. He probably had a sense of where his life was headed, what his hopes and dreams were for Mary and his carpentry business. And then Mary shows up pregnant with a child that is not his.  

Out of that chaos Joseph can restore order by divorcing her or having her stoned. But then he has that mysterious encounter with the angel who reminds him that throughout history – Emmanuel – God has been with us and is now with him in this chaotic situation. And so he is to name him Jesus, meaning God is salvation in times of chaos.  

While what happened to Joseph in its specifics, being called to be guardian of the Messiah, is clearly not part of our experience, most of us find at some point in life, perhaps sometime in the past year, our orderly plans for life are drastically changed.  

It might be through the loss of a job, sickness, financial misfortunes, divorce or an unplanned pregnancy; it could be troubles with children or the death of a loved one that turns our world upside down. Order gives way to chaos and it usually doesn’t seem to have anything HOLY about it.  

This is exactly where the story of Joseph and the life that he lived from this point of chaos can help us. When those chaotic disturbances impact our lives we can ask: Where is God in all of this? What might God be calling me to do with this chaotic situation to restore order, so that it becomes an opportunity for God to act through me?  

In times of chaos, our mantra might be the Advent refrain, Come, O Come Emmanuel. During Advent we hear about John the Baptist which reminds each one of us that through your own baptism, God is with you, God is in you and God works through you.  

While our Gospel tells us that Joseph passed the Emmanuel – God with us – test, our first reading tells us that King Ahaz failed that test miserably. The prophet Isaiah reminds the King that it is God who brings order and peace to our lives and not the proposed military alliance that the King sought with the Assyrians.  

Isaiah demanded that King Ahaz trust in God’s protection and not fear the warring states. In the prophet’s mind faith is not simply going through the motions of an interior assent to a series of creeds and beliefs. Rather, faith is a posture of confidence in how he acts based on the premise that God is more present than are enemy forces. And so in 734 BC Isaiah announced to King Ahaz the Emmanuel prophecy – that the pregnant woman is a sign that God is with us and that the king should move away from war.  

As our bulletin insert last week reminds us: throughout Advent we hear the words of Isaiah: For unto us a child is born and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor and Prince of Peace. 

This long history of Emmanuel – God with us – from the days of Abraham to Moses and the Exodus; from Isaiah and the War Years to Jesus born in the poverty of a manger; from the writing of the New Testament to our world today – calls us to recommit our lives to what enriches life and not to what diminishes it.  

We proclaim our faith in the way that we live our lives; in the kindness with which we treat others; when we stand for justice; and when we show compassion to those who are suffering and struggling.  

Former President Dwight Eisenhower, who saw the horrors of war firsthand, sounds prophetic in the quote written in last week’s insert:

"Every gun that is made,

Every warship that is launched, 

 

Every rocket fired, signifies,

In the final sense,

A theft from those who hunger and are not fed, 

those who are cold and are not clothed. 

Living with a war economy is not a way of life at all, 

in any true sense. Rather, it is humanity 

hanging on a cross of iron." [Dwight D. Eisenhower 1958] 

Today your voice – the voice of Emmanuel – can speak out if you believe in the sign of the woman with child, by signing the petition asking the President and the WNY Congressional Delegation to end the war in Afghanistan, in the Community Room after Mass. It is a real opportunity to speak for the Prince of Peace.  

None of us is called simply to exist in this world as some neutral force that won’t affect the world around us. It is impossible to be that – because we are constantly affecting the lives of others whether we are aware of it or not.  

The question then is, “What difference will I make in this world? Will I use not just my time, talent and treasure to make Emmanuel’s presence known, but will I use the daily opportunities of my life to achieve that end? Will I bring order where there is chaos?”  

A simple carpenter from Nazareth did, and it made all the difference in the world.