Liberating your divine power

 

"Joy is God's calling card"

"In times of aridity when I am incapable of praying, of practicing virtue, I seek little opportunities, mere trifles, to give pleasure to Jesus; for instance a smile, a pleasant word when inclined to be silent and to show weariness. If I find no opportunities, I at least tell Him again and again that I love Him; that is not difficult and it keeps alive the fire in my heart. Even though this fire of love might seem extinct I would still throw little straws upon the embers and I am certain it would rekindle."

St. Therese of Lisieux (1873-1897) 
XVI letter to her sister Celine

In each of us there is a beautiful crystal center, radiant, glorious, powerful, creative, shimmering with the ineffable power and love of God.  You are more powerful than you can imagine and you are more loved and loveable than you have the courage to admit. 

But, why is it we don't know this and our lives are anything but powerful and radiant?  Even those who are serving and care giving are not living lives of joy. Sadly, their intention is masked.  They may sincerely mean to be selfless and giving, righteous, but that giving comes from a sense of duty, guilt, obligation, rather than joy. It's not always what it seems.  

One may seem good but may be full of self loathing and fear due to abuse and maltreatment earlier in life which taught him on a deep subliminal level that he isn't valued, isn't deserving of love, kindness, compassion, and rather has to earn love. He learned that love is conditional and therein is the seed for the evil ego.  

This dear child of God is anything but liberated. Rather he is enslaved to an interior tyrant who grew up within him, learning the lessons from the cruel treatment of an exploitive parent, teacher, spouse, employer - whomever.  In an effort to save his skin at an early age, he learned to submit to that tyrant. He learned he was not loved, nor loveable, not precious, not brilliant, not powerful, not glorious, not divine.  Now, he has to unlearn all that, and learn instead that he is loved and loveable, brilliant, powerful and part of God, in union with God.

It seems there is a sad enslaving phenomenon that happens to people who lived lives of abuse. The first most incidious part of it is they often live in denial, refusing to see who they have become.  The love they never had left a gaping hole in their being which was slowly filled by a dark presence, a dark tyrant which is referred to as  "the ego,"   the false self.  It takes control of the person's life - whipping and ordering the person to continue to work slavishly, whispering in his ear that he's not good enough, not attractive enough, not smart, not wealthy, not popular, not loveable enough.  

Through that condemnation and abuse, the now internalized tyrant - that ego - has taken over control and the person is now its slave.  This isn't obvious to the person.  He thinks it's his duty to serve, he thinks it's noble to serve.  He thinks his slavery and low self worth means he's humble and he even applauds himself for his humility when he is not really humble before God, rather he is a slave to the ego, the interior tyrant. 

A clue that the person is not really humble, not really free or filled with God's power and presence, is the absence of joy.  Joy is God's calling card. When a person is able to release himself from all the judgment and criticism of the ego, and accept that he is loved, truly and deeply loved and encouraged to walk in the knowledge of that love, a river of joy springs up within.

When God is head of the person's life, joy spills over into the person's life, into the streets, glowing from the rooftops. The person's innate creative power would return inspiring and motivating him. It would lift the dark heavy drapes of depression - caused by the oppression of judgment and condemnation - into freedom, love and joy until his laughter would ripple throughout the cosmos and he would succeed at anything he puts his mind to.  

Joy is really insupressable.  But, for a person ruled by this cruel ego, there is no joy - only duty and work and a very busy schedule. That person has replaced an earlier abuser with a presence of oppression.  This oppressive ego not only steals your time and energy, it has long lasting lingering effects on your productivity and flow of creativity, so vitally necessary for a real life.

I recently met a middle aged man from Egypt who had been exploited and betrayed by a wealthy American woman who he met there. She lured him away from his job, married him and brought him to the United States.  After a few months, she grew tired of him, and divorced him, leaving him without a job and penniless.  He was a man of dignity in Egypt but now without a job, with few marketable skills in this weak economy, he lives on the couch of a kind Christian who barely scrapes by himself.

This man has been offered several very low paying jobs, yet repeatedly he fails at each one.  Recently I met him working at a local restaurant where he was employed to clean up, a job he could barely handle. He never looked me in the eye, and held his head low, shoulders caved in, back bent.  He looked like someone beat him everyday, and yet no one is beating him.  Rather he is continuing to beat himself.  The saddest part of the story is this man is a very creative musician, who isn't doing anything with his gift.  He feels nothing but self loathing.  His inner Divine nature is completely blocked by an internalized abuser - the ego. 

The owner said to me, "I wish he would just wake up. He does really careless things.  It seems like he's not there. I want to see him succeed and get out of this mess he's in.  We're trying to give him an opportunity, but we can't keep him if he keeps doing some of the careless things he's doing. Even when we tell him how to do things, he's stubborn and refuses to listen.  He won't listen and learn."

I recognized that behavior - that defensive refusal to listen to learn - that proud insistence that his way was the right way, when it clearly wasn't.  It was false pride, the ugly evidence of the ego's rule.  When a person has no pride, when his sense of self worth and value has been pummeled out of him, the ego sneaks in and gives the person a false sense of pride, which shows up as defensive stubborn pride.  It is that one single quality of the ego that is the trademark of an abused person's ego possession.  It is also the one quality that will guarantee that the person will never rise up and out of his oppression.  

When that false pride is transformed - by God's love - the person can return to a sense of dignity and in that dignity be open and loving and accepting and non reactionary and then able to move with a rich radiant dignity that blooms and prospers as authentic humility.  If there's no fear to defend, then there is no need for reaction.  If the person doesn't feel threatened, he doesn't need to defend himself with his false pride.   

"So, how can I help him?"  the owner asked.  

I thought for awhile and then recalled one of the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux, the little flower.  I knew the man was a devout believer in God - not Christian - but a believer in God.  I thought if he could begin to do everything he had to do for God, the love of God would flower in him, and God's love would be the tonic for his oppressed soul.  I thought of St. Therese's wise teaching to do everything - every little thing - to the glory of God. 

"Tell him to do everything to the glory of God," I told the owner.  

"Tell him - teach him - even if he's cleaning a toilet, or washing the floor, or taking out the garbage to focus on every little detail and consciously do it to the glory of God."  

The owner was quiet for a moment.  We both also realized that all of us are oppressed by the ego on varying levels of intensity.  

Next week (January 2) is St. Therese of Lisieux's birthday and I think her teaching might be a beautiful light for all of us into the new year.  I hope her wisdom helps this sorely oppressed man find his way out of his tragic self imposed prison of shame.  He is a beautiful free soul, sadly enslaved by an interior master.  He can be free, but only God can free him.  I pray he finds this freedom soon. In the meantime, his life offers us all an important gift that invites us all to do everything - every little thing - to the glory of God.

Hopefully as we do this, we will unlock our interior power, our brilliant creative magnificence, and flare up our divine spark that would heal our bodies, our lives and our world.  Maybe, as we do this, we will recover our sense of being loved beyond our wildest imagination and in that realization, be set free from the prison of shame in which too many of us linger.   I pray, as we do this, we will STOP judging and criticizing ourselves and each other.  And, as we do this, I believe our joy level will rise and abound all over the place.  Truly, as we do this, we will wake up and be alive - maybe for the first time in our lives.