Jesus CHRIST said, It is I who am the light which is above them all. It is I who am the All. From me did the ALL come forth, and unto me did the All extend. Split the wood and there I am. Lift the stone, and there I am. Gospel of Thomas, vs. 77 In Aramaic, the language of Jesus, the word He used for Moses' 'Great I Am' (who we have called 'God') is Allaha, meaning the ALL. He used the relational term, 'the father,' to help us understand the loving intelligence of the Great I am or Allaha. You will see the similarity of Allaha to Islam's Allah. This seems to redirect western Christianity's understanding of 'the Father' as a god. Rather, the Father is not a singular god, but the ALL, the totality of all that is, unlimited, eternal, absolute consciousness and Beinghood, and clearly beyond our comprehension. The ALL has no name since the All cannot be contained or controlled. IT is also not to be worshipped as the ancient pagans worshipped a god. It is to be encountered, experienced, and engaged with our whole mind, heart and being.
Today, it seems the primary question to all of us at this point in our evolution - as a violent, confused and struggling civilization - is HOW do we recognize HIM / IT? It is always our nature to engage relationally with everything and we've always wanted to do this with the ALL. Were we misguided by the powers of this dimension and sidetracked due to that misguidance? Another question is, "Could it be possible that the violence exploding across the planet is a kind of birthing, transitioning us into a great global human civilization? Listen to your mind, sink into your heart, and wait, breathing in the silence. Wait until your mind is silent - for some of us that could be awhile. But, persevere. Do not bring petitions to the great ALL. Do not think of your needs or even the needs of your community, the world. Stop wanting, needing, desiring. Visualize nothing. Just BE QUIET in the presence of the ALL.WAIT, until the CHRIST presence moves across your heart, mind and maybe your inner vision. No one can tell you what it will be like for you, and no one can tell you how to prepare for the experience. You may not even recognize it. But, you will slowly feel something changing within yourself. Slowly, when you return to thinking of it, you'll realize you are also changing. You will begin to radiate the light of Christ, maybe even before you realize it. Because this is something you cannot control - it doesn't have a volume you can turn up or down. CHRIST love IS grace. It is the HOLY SPIRIT. It is LIFE itself. CHRIST was full revealed in the man YESHUA, and he taught us that He was sent to reveal CHRIST, mirror HIM to us at a dark oppressive time. CHRIST has returned and is now among us. HIS presence is here, waiting for each of us to commit our intention to finding, receiving him. He says to seek first 'his kingdom' which can be found in that inner silence. That is the one single thing that He promised would be granted to us as our request. He may not be found in your religion, your government, even your family's tradition. He is new everyday and waits on the cusp of your consciousness. Listen to your breath as you wait expectantly for HIM, and He will come to you as sweetly and softly as the morning dove.
"There is light within a man of light, and he lights up the whole World. If he does not shine, he is darkness." Gospel of Thomas vs. 24 "Split a piece of wood, and I am there. Lift up the stone, and you will find me there." Gospel of Thomas vs. 77 From fireflies dancing in the moonlight to forests scattered with magical mushrooms, all of life is alive and breathing with a delicate radiance vibrating from within. All of it is glowing, and not only these mysterious plants. Even sea urchins, man of war along the ocean shore, pearls and shells, and many species of salt water fishes, all radiate a translucent rainbow of inner light. In fact, all of life glows with the life-force itself. This luminesence is clearly visible to us - if we have eyes to see, ears to hear. I guess that means, it's all a matter of perception. And, maybe that's the whole point. Do we see this iridescence all around us, vibrating with a kind of universal huming, buzzing? If we can't see this, or hear this life - this breathtaking miracle right before us in which we're also immersed as part of it all in this garden, I think we have to ask ourselves why we don't. Is it we don't take time, value it enough to make time? Or, even if we made time, would we still not see / hear it? If that's the case, then why? It is heartbreaking that we're missing this incredible mystery right before us. It seems that's why we're here - to experience this magical place. And, too often we don't. If its a lack of perception, then we have to ask ourselves, what is blocking our perception? Psychologists say we don't really see with our eyes, or hear with our ears. We see and hear with our minds. Our minds tell us what is important to see and hear and what isn't. It's so deep within us that we do it automatically, even subconsciously. We all do. So, we're taught what to value and that's what our eyes see or look for. We also tune out the birds singing while we're watching TV. Oh, so sad. Have we been brainwashed to tune out the birds to watch the terrors on the news? Is getting to work, checking on the news, making and spending money - is all of that more important? If it is, then why? Have we sabotaged our power by closing our hearts with fear by aligning ourselves to this commercial, materialistic culture we live in at such an excruciating high price? Our power is in our hearts, which, when full of love, glows. I wonder if we could detach from our culture - be in it but not of it - we would heal our hearts and restore our power, and connect to life in a way we may never have experienced before? To be honest, I've been engaged in this deep reflection since I moved into this remote rural mountain community six miles from the nearest town. Here the sounds of the birds resound across the small lake. It would be impossible to miss the neighbor's rooster down the road. The horses, the cow with a new calf, the beaver in the nearby pond, the deer with her two fawn are all very present. Even more common sounds like two chipmunks sparing over a small pile of sunflower seeds or a squirrel running across the roof are loud enough to wake you in the middle of the night. The real world is loud enough if we are living with it, one with it. Before, we didn't know what we were doing. We were doing what we'd all been taught to do. We learned the rules from early childhood and, believeing we were doing what was right, we followed them, and still are following them. The problem with that is that we've been controlled by those early rules, which were set in motion since time immemorial. We are controlled by those every sort of authority figure, including hierarchies of power, and each is part of a larger system until you'll see the entire structure of our culture has a million interlocking pieces. It is a conglomerate that runs on our devotion and obedience to it, and it is anti-life. It is the ultimate lie and the ultimate con artist.that has seduced us away from what is real to an artificial edifice. It has been around for a lot of years and we have been feeding it for a long time. It set up a mind game of prey and predator - victim and victor. You get to choose which role you'll play, but both are equally controlled by the game. How do we get back to what is real - this beautiful life in this garden we live in? Challenge everything you think. Ask yourself why you're feeling as you are. Trace it to its source. When you begin to break free from control, you'll feel the chains by which it held you back. They feel like guilt, shame, and fear. When you feel those feelings you can know you're moving in the right direction. As hard as that may seem, you need to keep going. Rock the boat a little. Maybe together we can topsize it. When you think about what you're thinking about when those scary feelings rise up in your belly, you'll always find that the source is a controlling thought that has pretty ancient roots in your life. An old teacher from the third grade is still in your head as is that mean neighbor who yelled at you for picking his wild flowers. Judgment and condemnation are in the very air we breathe and water we drink, and yet none of it is love. It takes but gives nothing in return. We don't question it. But, we have to question it. We have to ask ourselves why we're judging, condemning, gossiping, saying hurtful things about people. We are only adding to the pollution of control that runs on judgment, condemnation and control. If we're going to break out of this collective mind prison, we have to not do as it teaches. Stop the competition to the top because you know, and i know, there's nothing up there. Eveything is down here, right here, around us all. If life is calling you into the moonlight on a soft summer evening amid the symphony of tree frogs and crickets; and if you can hear the morning doves in the early morning, then you are seeing and hearing rightly. If you hear it so loud that you find yourself completely surrounded and immersed in their world, then you're healing from the world's disease. Then you will soon see and feel the futility of the collective culture that has owned us. I wouldn't waste a single second lamenting what has happened to you - to us as a human race. I would just get up and get on with this new awesome adventure of perception. This doesn't mean we have to quit our jobs. It means we have to awaken our perception and then choose carefully how we want to spend out lives. In our perception a new awareness arises. Through it you just might discover the sheer delight of the beauty of life that is stirring around us in a way we never saw before. It is the creative mastery of a universal intelligence that breathes an exquisite love that so far surpasses any of the silly perverse romantic iimages pimped by the advertising and media empire to con us into giving them our money which we've sacrificed so much to earn. There may come a time when it will be unbearable to play the world's game anymore. There may come a time when we would rather sit in the soft damp moss-covered carpet of the forest and watch the deer, birds and squirrels, occasional timid racoon descend from his tree fort, and feel a sense of wonder and presence and oneness in the breathing of the forest. Then, for a moment, you may realize that you are part of this great life in this beautiful garden. You are in sync with it and you realize that it is in you as much as you are in it. Your perception has enlightened too, brighter than ever, and quite possibly you are as radiant as any fluorescence around you. And, you are.
Eyes to see, ears to hear, and an imagination to wander in, all brimming with hearts of love, fill the Earth with the lush, fertile abundance of life itself. We are so blessed to be alive, to witness the miracle of life within us, around us, in this dimension and throughout the millions of other dimensions that we can't see or fathom. Love is the brilliant and powerful creator of life itself, in every form it takes, in every dimension. It is the creator, and the created; the beholder and the beheld. Love infuses everything with an electromagnetic power. It is electric and magnetic, calling forth more of itself to itself, empowering our thoughts and images in the imaginal realm and birthing them out into our 3D realm. Our dreams grow and emerge, gaining density through the power of our conscious intention, nurtured with faith in love's ability to do what it does - create. Love is the fertilizer in the Divine Parent's garden of life which includes all our creative dreams of the mind. Love fuels the dreaming and brings them into being when we believe in them, without doubting. The love in the lover is the artist who dreams and the singer is the siren song who calls forth all our dreams into life itself.
Itsey passed away on Thursday, June 9 while sleeping in the sun. Losing him has challenged my faith, but ultimately we're all in Our Father's embrace at all times, whether in carnated or in spirit only. Often, when Itsey wasn't feeling well over the last couple weeks, I would hold him and sing this old Irish hymn to him, and he loved it and slept contentedly in my arms.
I have felt his presence, gently and lightly, since last Thursday, and I have this sense he is with my mother in heaven and someday I will see them both again.
Today, I took my cat, Itsey, to the vet - the fourth in about four months. It was a good visit and I remain hopeful. Thank you, if you prayed. From earlier: This morning I have to take my beloved kitty, Itsey, to the vet. I am praying, and begging for your prayers also, that he can be healed. He has been diagnosed (and I pray wrongfully) with a terminal illness the origins of which are completely impossible, but nonetheless he's been given a fatal diagnosis. We had a good night for the first time in weeks last night. I find my heart begging to the universe for his healing. Yet, at the same time, I am surrendering him into the arms of my beloved Savior. May you in your darkest most desperate need, feel you can write me, and I will pray with the same passion and might for you too, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever your need. THANK YOU! AMEN
Western Nebraska, coming down out of Wyoming, has an austere rugged landlscape as it transitions from the dense high Rockies to the softer, flatter plains of the heartland. Life has always been a mystery, then and now. The only difference is now I know it. Then, I was less aware of the supreme magic and elegance in all the varying shades of reality I perceive now. Over the last few months, a deeper awakening, a renewed reverence for the mystical beauty of life has pierced the dark of a long spiritual night. It seems when the divine drives an awakening, everything lights up until you see things in a whole new perspective Suddenly, it was unmistakable that I was being guided, first around a bend and down a path that felt dark and overgrown, and then out and up again now leading to a distant unknown, Now, I realize it was always a divinely ordained journey. Everyone's life is. Sometimes, during the hard times of the unseen parts of the experience, I felt as if I was in the fire pit of The Princess Bride. Too often I was shocked and taken off guard by flaring surges from the underground, mauled by deception, threatened by a feeling of insufficiency. I honestly didn't know if I would survive. It was a dark forest full of pitfalls and uncertainty. My books, prayer, and faith was all I had, in addition to two beautiful cats. Suddenly, on New Years Eve my world plunged into something new, and equally uncertain. It seemed as if God opened the heavy door that kept me locked in a dark and lifeless place. A radiant light danced magically around the edges as the old door creaked open. It was time, I could finally leave Portland. As swiftly as a bird, I fled. Not thinking, not resting, I just drove, hard and fast, into the sunset, late into the night, through the dark and treacherous Cascades. I watched the breathtaking sunrise over the Rockies, and then I switched down the passes into Wyoming. I wasn't sure if I was running from something or to something, but I drove swiftly and fearlessly until I found myself in the sweet vast fertile fields of Nebraska. Finally, I could breathe. I felt safe in the heartland of my country. I slowed down to absorb the sweet Nebraska sunshine on the late winter, windy morning. Unexpectedly, I felt the presence of life all around me. Carried aloft over mountain ranges, as if on eagles wings, across bridges over rushing mountain rivers and through dark winding volcanic valleys now I could rest and catch my breath in the safety of the welcoming landscape. I wondered about all this, often reflecting on a deeper meaning and presence that undergird it all. I wondered what I was meant to do with it all. I longed to share the experience, talk it over with someone, but it seemed that wasn't meant to be either. So, I lived it, alone in my heart and mind, savoring it, adoring the One who allowed me to experience it. Then, this morning in mid April, in the remote hills of the southern tier of New York state, I was awakened by the haunting coos of the morning doves. As they sang away the night, I found again that reverence in their song. I felt a new meaning to all of this as their cooing bounced off the small lake, trimmed with tall pines outside the rustic place where I live now. I knew a new chapter had begun. In the quiet of this morning, in this remote, fiercely natural place, a very real spiritual presence lingers within and all around me. Life itself can be heard here, and in her sweet voice my heart feels alive and welcomed home.
All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. There was the true Light which, coming into the world, enlightens every man. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. John 1:4-5, 9-10 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)
As often as I've written about the light, it never came to me as clearly as just recently when I was forced to unpack a deeply painful situation.
"Why do these things happen to good people?" I asked rhetorically because I knew the answer.
Because it is only through suffering that we learn. It is a hard fact of reality. Only when the pain gets really tough, really hard to bear, so difficult that we can't avert it, drug it, dim it or shut it up, it is bound to get through to us. Then, there in the deep caverns of our soul, it works its alchemical magic. It wizens and changes us, always for the better. It wakes us up and helps us see another piece of the truth. When you can't push the pain away, it's going to get your attention and then you can listen to its message. Ultimately, it wakes you up more.
St. Thomas More said to his distraught daughter on the night before his execution by the English King Henry VIII, "One does not get to heaven on a feather bed."
We are all, in our perfect ideal nature, beings of pure light. If you were to cut open a hand of a light being, there would only be more light. That's all they are. That's all we are. We are light beings living in earthen bodies. The difference among us is as wide and diverse as the levels of our awareness of this truth.
Ok. You probably get that. I get it, but here's the missing piece to really driving that awareness into the greater depths of your consciousness where it will actually catalyze and activate a profound change in your life.
Jesus told us, "do not judge, lest you be judged." Why? What is judgment, really?
It is an abuse of power. It is imposing one person's power over another. And, it creates an abusive, controlling power paradigm. As children we are all taught to submit to authority, and we try or else. What happens if we don't? In our dark world, we may get punished, beaten, deprived of things we enjoy, and so we learn to obey authority through fear of punishment. We also, sadly, learn to associate the authority we know here as the authority of God.
So, we have to unlearn all that, and as Morpheus said in The Matrix, we are enslaved and controlled, living in an unreal, imaginary world that is feeding off us. We have to free our minds.
It may be like quitting smoking after 30 or 40 years, that's if you live long enough to get to that point. We are controlled by judgment, which is a terrible corruption of your authentic being and of your understanding of God. We have to unplug from it - both internally and externally.
I realized, that like most of us, I had internalized a lot of guilt if I stood up for myself to an abusive person. I realized that I wanted peace at any cost and that cost usually meant me giving in. That became a life long pattern of acquiescence.
But, God wanted to take me to the next level, and unplugged me from that mindset and gave me a vision of a light being and told me that's what you - and all other humans - really are. Every time you give in, submit, to an external authority, you are allowing them to impose their control over you, and that is darkening your being. After a lifetime, you discover that you have a lot of buried insults and hurts.
As you have learned to submit to others' judgment of you, you have also found an inner reaction to them. You find that your reactions blind you and you stay caught on authority's fishing line, feeding them your power, while you thrash in the air wondering what happened.
If we knew that only God deserves our worship, then we would not submit to the authority of our world. That, quite simply, is idolatry - the very worst kind. Yet, we've all been taught to submit.
A friend of mine pointed out to me recently that all the states in the United States are "at-will" states in terms of employment (well, with the exception of Montana). That means that any employer can fire you for absolutely any reason. Even if they want to fire you because of your race, they can make it about the color of your socks rather than the color of your skin. We are at the mercy of our employers, our bosses, these false gods in the corporate world.
I often wondered why people are so afraid to speak up to their mean and abusive bosses. Because life on the street isn't so pleasant. You can be in debt, on a long term lease, living pay check to pay check, and your boss can kick you out the door with one minutes notice. You're cooked. It's over.
So, what are we to do? That's a very real issue that our social justice people who talk and talk about economic justice, and helping the homeless, etc. should look at. But, it underscores why corporate America, which is built on the masculine power down structure needs to be turned upside down.
I believe this is what Jesus came to teach us. We need to unplug from the authoritative power of the ruling powers of our world, and tune in to the beautiful music of heaven within us. We can begin by honoring our own innate right to be wrong. We can accept we are not perfect and we make mistakes and we can be honored despite that. We need to never allow another fellow human being have power over us and we need to begin to detox from all the internalized hurt and woundedness we all share because of this system that runs completely unchecked, and has for thousands and thousands of years.
Knowing that we are light is the first step in our own awakening. Realizing our worship is of God and only God, whether you call God, Allah or Krishna. (You know, "A rose by any name smells as sweet.")
The second is checking ourselves, catching ourselves when we gossip, judge, condemn, criticize or have a negative self righteous opinion about anyone else.
When we talk about changing global systems of exploitation and control, that's not an opinion or a condemnation. That is a fact that is calling for the transformation of our global political and economic systems which are destroying the world. It is a power-down system, which controls us like slaves, each one afraid of losing their job. So, each one prostitutes their truth to the great wizard of the corporation. That is evil. The whole system is corrupt. Period. It is no wonder that the Book of Revelation talks about the Great harlot and the beast at the end times. Do you see a correlation here?
I think, and all of this I remind myself of constantly and am only sharing it here on Tiger Lilies to stretch my awareness and share it with anyone interested enough to read these long-winded pieces. I have learned to listen carefully to what I'm thinking and watch my reaction to others. Any reaction of mine points to the place in me where I have buried pain. And, it is in this deep inner place where the wound is, like a sunken ship in the mouth of the Columbia, and this is when and where to apply the beautiful Hoponopno prayer. (Published on Tiger Lilies on April 20, 2011)
