Climb every mountain,
Search high and low,
Follow every highway,
Every path you know.
Climb every mountain,
Ford every stream,
Follow every rainbow,
'Till you find your dream.
A dream that will need
All the love you can give,
Every day of your life
For as long as you live.*
Finding our way through a dark, damp, dense woods of confusion and complicated misinformation is truly a nightmare of the spirit. Words or lyrics of old songs, wisdom from past ages, sometimes slip into consciousness to guide us. Certainly, these are a dark age, a terribly dark age, and I think that anyone who is even the slightest bit honest has found their own complicity with the dark forces that have fouled our global community.
Today, as I struggled with an unkind comment from someone regarding the film "Thrive" which I posted on Tiger Lilies a few days ago, I slipped back into a state of wondering, "am I right about this, or wrong?" Honestly probing my own conscience for any false or misinformed motives, I returned to the awareness that sometimes there isn't a lot of company when you're out on a limb. Maybe you have to sound the ram's horn to see who out there thinks, feels this way too. When you do that some of the reply may not be what you want, but you will hear some of what is out there nonetheless - either resistance or agreement. If you listen carefully, you'll also hear a lot of fear, frustration and even anger, often directed at whoever is asking the question, which, in this case, was me. Then, you weigh even the education and wisdom of both responses and go back into the cave to evaluate them, measured against what you know intellectually and intuitively.
So, in case you're wondering where all this is going, let me begin in the beginning. In traditional religion, simply, we were taught that "God" was out there somewhere and He would judge us by our actions. We were consequently taught a list of good and bad actions by which we would be judged. And, just in case we failed to follow and obey them and didn't reap the benefits or punishment of our action / non-action in this life, "God" would catch up with us when we died and the appropriate punishment would be justifiably applied to our lifetime crime. And, then there is even that overarching caveat that we pray for forgiveness for "those things we've left undone." So, it seemed no matter what we did or failed to do, meaning what we were blind and unaware of, we were going to find ourselves in a position of judgment and needing divine forgiveness.
This created fear and trembling in our hearts and was so thoroughly cemented in our young psyches that even to this day the deeply rooted message still informs us, or I should say still informs me. This suggests that by total obedience to authority, which - like the age old "divine right of kings" - has somehow been divinely conferred on whoever is our authority, requires from us complete obedience and submission to that authority. We have been taught to be obedient slaves and loyal puppets. What if we don't obey? What if we reject authority and follow our own inner knowing? Who can we trust? Is our priest, or boss, or president or corporate CEO divinely right? Will we be punished after this life? Are we to fearfully obey even the Old Testament or the New Testament or the Quran? This is not an easy answer. As much as I study Jungian psychology, Gnostic scriptures, the earliest writings and teachings of the Church (to which our blessed Protestant reformers did not have access), the liberation of the deep inner authentic self which is God's image born and wedded to us, I still struggle with the possibility that we could be wrong, that I could be wrong. This worry clearly translates into my work - or occasionally lack thereof. It is something I struggle with daily.
So, that's the sum of what is western civilization's psycho/spiritual quandary resulting in a kind of status quo. Simply, but just a jumping off point, to demonstrate the sheer depth and power of the control which has enslaved our minds, challenging even the minds of those who are wise enough to know the difference and yet wise enough to question even the new reality.
Lately, I found a book - yes, literally found it - on my long walking trail. Two copies had been left on a park bench in both English and Spanish, clearly intended or someone to pick up and read. That day, I had been deeply immersed in my long struggle for authentic "beingness" seeking a productive and honest way. I had already come to realize that the teachings of the Church were off (with all due respect yet with sincere admission). Lately, I had also become angry due to my never ending state of confusion that simply led nowhere. That frustration was beginning to boil over affecting all my relationships with family. I wanted so badly to take a step in some direction, but each step only brought me to another cliff of unknowing. I couldn't leap because I knew that there was something flawed in the river below. So, an ordained ministry was out. Sadly, that meant I had to find a new way - a new wine for that old wine skin. History has taught that those already deeply embedded in an existing institution or structure rarely are willing to exchange that security for the uncertainty and lack of security in a possible new one. What would it take for me to also make that shift?
I am like everyone else. I am scared of the past but even more afraid of the future. If we stay on the course we're on, it seems clear that things are not going to bode well for us. It is clearly and obviously the closing of an age. But, alone, singly, to make that step out was terrifying. How much time do I have before taking a complete financial leap? Is there anyone else out there who thinks like this? How would I find out, how would I coax others out of their comfort zones to explore the questions that haunt me?
And, that's where the journey begins - finding the first ray of the rainbow I was seeking.
So, I was on this long walk and found a book about the history of Christianity (beginning with the Old Testament). While I already know "Church History" I sensed a calling to pick it up anyway and uncover what "the Spirit" is saying to me. I'm fairly sure God is well aware of my inner struggle for truth and direction. At first I thought the book may have been a kind of religious propaganda piece for some fringe religious group, but as I read it, it was clear it was very well researched, intelligently written and seemed to be without any bias. I followed the history through to the Reformation before putting it down. I wandered around for a few days thinking about the extreme sacrifice of some of the early protestant reformers. I weighed in on their thesis and concurred they were right - for their time. I ached at the degree to which they suffered for that timely rightness (i.e. burning at the stake.) I even reflected on the fact that "my" church, the Anglican Church, once burned Joan of Arc at the stake. But, that may be nothing compared to what the Catholic Church did, but that was a long time ago.) So, what was the message here for me? Is it the prophetic cost of stepping out in a new direction that will challenge everything as we know it? Or is it about having the courage to persevere to the next level of human spiritual evolution? So, OK, I thought, let's assume it's both. The question still remains, what is "IT" that we're seeking, that we're needing to find so desperately. What is the truth that is staring us in the face and then once we know that truth and are 100 % sure it is the truth, what do we do about it?
The old Rabbinic style of teaching is to teach by asking the question and following wisdom to the answer. Wisdom, for me at least, comes as little rays of light, little inner nudgings, pearls found on park benches on a walking trail.
I think the underlying ground has to be a sincere search. When you are certain that your intentions are pure, as I am sure mine are. At least I'm sure of that - even if that's all that I'm sure of. I think you can develop an inner knowingness, a sense of what is true and what is fear, following love or fear. In fact, one morning, while I was in a prolonged state of confusion, feeling actually depressed about the whole thing, I stumbled over a sentence that said, "Love will lead you, fear will stop you,." My heart leapt. "Yes, that's true!" I thought, recalling the essential teaching of the beautiful Course in Miracles.
So, what am I afraid of and where is the love? That was freeing, enlivening and kept my spirits up long enough to travel a bit further down the way. I realized the terrible dark power of fear. It will kill your spirit, brow beat you enough to be someone's slave and even cause you to lose your dream and abort your journey. However, some of us are luckier than others because we simply cannot abort the journey because there's absolutely nothing to fall back on.
Anyway, at this point of the journey, I am only identifying and following these threads of light While they may just be that - a single ray of light - rather than the whole dawn, it seems they are the only way to get to the new Renaissance and on into the future that is calling to us, begging us to be born.
*Lyrics by Rodgers and Hammerstein for Sound of Music musical, 1959.
Today, as I struggled with an unkind comment from someone regarding the film "Thrive" which I posted on Tiger Lilies a few days ago, I slipped back into a state of wondering, "am I right about this, or wrong?" Honestly probing my own conscience for any false or misinformed motives, I returned to the awareness that sometimes there isn't a lot of company when you're out on a limb. Maybe you have to sound the ram's horn to see who out there thinks, feels this way too. When you do that some of the reply may not be what you want, but you will hear some of what is out there nonetheless - either resistance or agreement. If you listen carefully, you'll also hear a lot of fear, frustration and even anger, often directed at whoever is asking the question, which, in this case, was me. Then, you weigh even the education and wisdom of both responses and go back into the cave to evaluate them, measured against what you know intellectually and intuitively.
So, in case you're wondering where all this is going, let me begin in the beginning. In traditional religion, simply, we were taught that "God" was out there somewhere and He would judge us by our actions. We were consequently taught a list of good and bad actions by which we would be judged. And, just in case we failed to follow and obey them and didn't reap the benefits or punishment of our action / non-action in this life, "God" would catch up with us when we died and the appropriate punishment would be justifiably applied to our lifetime crime. And, then there is even that overarching caveat that we pray for forgiveness for "those things we've left undone." So, it seemed no matter what we did or failed to do, meaning what we were blind and unaware of, we were going to find ourselves in a position of judgment and needing divine forgiveness.
This created fear and trembling in our hearts and was so thoroughly cemented in our young psyches that even to this day the deeply rooted message still informs us, or I should say still informs me. This suggests that by total obedience to authority, which - like the age old "divine right of kings" - has somehow been divinely conferred on whoever is our authority, requires from us complete obedience and submission to that authority. We have been taught to be obedient slaves and loyal puppets. What if we don't obey? What if we reject authority and follow our own inner knowing? Who can we trust? Is our priest, or boss, or president or corporate CEO divinely right? Will we be punished after this life? Are we to fearfully obey even the Old Testament or the New Testament or the Quran? This is not an easy answer. As much as I study Jungian psychology, Gnostic scriptures, the earliest writings and teachings of the Church (to which our blessed Protestant reformers did not have access), the liberation of the deep inner authentic self which is God's image born and wedded to us, I still struggle with the possibility that we could be wrong, that I could be wrong. This worry clearly translates into my work - or occasionally lack thereof. It is something I struggle with daily.
So, that's the sum of what is western civilization's psycho/spiritual quandary resulting in a kind of status quo. Simply, but just a jumping off point, to demonstrate the sheer depth and power of the control which has enslaved our minds, challenging even the minds of those who are wise enough to know the difference and yet wise enough to question even the new reality.
Lately, I found a book - yes, literally found it - on my long walking trail. Two copies had been left on a park bench in both English and Spanish, clearly intended or someone to pick up and read. That day, I had been deeply immersed in my long struggle for authentic "beingness" seeking a productive and honest way. I had already come to realize that the teachings of the Church were off (with all due respect yet with sincere admission). Lately, I had also become angry due to my never ending state of confusion that simply led nowhere. That frustration was beginning to boil over affecting all my relationships with family. I wanted so badly to take a step in some direction, but each step only brought me to another cliff of unknowing. I couldn't leap because I knew that there was something flawed in the river below. So, an ordained ministry was out. Sadly, that meant I had to find a new way - a new wine for that old wine skin. History has taught that those already deeply embedded in an existing institution or structure rarely are willing to exchange that security for the uncertainty and lack of security in a possible new one. What would it take for me to also make that shift?
I am like everyone else. I am scared of the past but even more afraid of the future. If we stay on the course we're on, it seems clear that things are not going to bode well for us. It is clearly and obviously the closing of an age. But, alone, singly, to make that step out was terrifying. How much time do I have before taking a complete financial leap? Is there anyone else out there who thinks like this? How would I find out, how would I coax others out of their comfort zones to explore the questions that haunt me?
And, that's where the journey begins - finding the first ray of the rainbow I was seeking.
So, I was on this long walk and found a book about the history of Christianity (beginning with the Old Testament). While I already know "Church History" I sensed a calling to pick it up anyway and uncover what "the Spirit" is saying to me. I'm fairly sure God is well aware of my inner struggle for truth and direction. At first I thought the book may have been a kind of religious propaganda piece for some fringe religious group, but as I read it, it was clear it was very well researched, intelligently written and seemed to be without any bias. I followed the history through to the Reformation before putting it down. I wandered around for a few days thinking about the extreme sacrifice of some of the early protestant reformers. I weighed in on their thesis and concurred they were right - for their time. I ached at the degree to which they suffered for that timely rightness (i.e. burning at the stake.) I even reflected on the fact that "my" church, the Anglican Church, once burned Joan of Arc at the stake. But, that may be nothing compared to what the Catholic Church did, but that was a long time ago.) So, what was the message here for me? Is it the prophetic cost of stepping out in a new direction that will challenge everything as we know it? Or is it about having the courage to persevere to the next level of human spiritual evolution? So, OK, I thought, let's assume it's both. The question still remains, what is "IT" that we're seeking, that we're needing to find so desperately. What is the truth that is staring us in the face and then once we know that truth and are 100 % sure it is the truth, what do we do about it?
The old Rabbinic style of teaching is to teach by asking the question and following wisdom to the answer. Wisdom, for me at least, comes as little rays of light, little inner nudgings, pearls found on park benches on a walking trail.
I think the underlying ground has to be a sincere search. When you are certain that your intentions are pure, as I am sure mine are. At least I'm sure of that - even if that's all that I'm sure of. I think you can develop an inner knowingness, a sense of what is true and what is fear, following love or fear. In fact, one morning, while I was in a prolonged state of confusion, feeling actually depressed about the whole thing, I stumbled over a sentence that said, "Love will lead you, fear will stop you,." My heart leapt. "Yes, that's true!" I thought, recalling the essential teaching of the beautiful Course in Miracles.
So, what am I afraid of and where is the love? That was freeing, enlivening and kept my spirits up long enough to travel a bit further down the way. I realized the terrible dark power of fear. It will kill your spirit, brow beat you enough to be someone's slave and even cause you to lose your dream and abort your journey. However, some of us are luckier than others because we simply cannot abort the journey because there's absolutely nothing to fall back on.
Anyway, at this point of the journey, I am only identifying and following these threads of light While they may just be that - a single ray of light - rather than the whole dawn, it seems they are the only way to get to the new Renaissance and on into the future that is calling to us, begging us to be born.
*Lyrics by Rodgers and Hammerstein for Sound of Music musical, 1959.
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